Is Lorne cool? I think of Lorne as being a bit more posh and upmarket than the other towns that dot the coast along the Great Ocean Road. I think of it as being a family holiday location. I’m not quite sure that it’s cool. But what is cool is The Bottle Of Milk.
The Bottle Of Milk is a bit too cool for school. So cool that the people who work there probably don’t say ‘cool’ anymore and ‘awesome’, that is so passé and passé that’s just, well you get the idea. Let’s just say I’m fairly sure that if you don’t have thick rimmed hipster glasses you’re not allowed to work there.
But don’t let that put you off. The coffee is good and the burgers are even better. Just remember to order a flat white rather than a latte. It’s the hipster way. (The most hipster coffee of them all is really a ‘short mac’ but no one actually likes them)
Because I was nursing a rampant scotch induced hangover I went for the simplest chicken burger on the menu, the Foul Burger (a fitting choice of funky alternative name considering how I was feeling) and a can of Solo. I really wanted to order a What Everyone Gets but its defining feature was homemade chilli paste and my stomach was not up to it. If there had been a burger called Struggle Town I would have ordered it for sure.
Ben ordered The B.O.M which arrived at the table with egg yolk oozing out the side and a generous dollop of relish. He demolished it quickly while I took careful bites of my burger, testing out my tender stomach. Well he didn’t drink as much scotch as me and was having a much more pleasant day than I was.
The burgers are all served on crusty La Madre buns and the patties are made from 100% Australian beef, but the difference is when a hipster burger joint says it’s made from 100% beef I actually believe them, unlike another well-known burger place that makes the same claims.
I’m excited by the simple things in life and was ecstatic when a few errant cockatoos came to help clean the tables. I’m sure that they must be considered a pest in the seaside town by now but I still love them. Plus admiring the wildlife gave me an excuse to eat even more slowly.
Since my visit to The Bottle Of Milk I’ve got myself a pair of thick rimmed, deep mauve hipster glasses. So next time I’m in Lorne I’ll fit right in. I might even get offered a job.